This is a transcript of the Batman: The Animated Series episode "The Underdwellers" from season one, which aired on October 21, 1992. It is divided into major dialogue sections for better comprehension.
A COUPLE OF TEENAGERS CLIMB TO THE TOP OF AN ELEVATED TRAIN
- Teenager #1: Whoever jumps first is chicken!!
TEENAGER #2 WATCHES BATMAN RIGHT BEHIND THEM AND DECIDES TO LEAVE
- Teenager #1: Hahaha. I knew you'd chicken out! (He tries to leave as well, but his leg is tangled with some cables)
THE TRAIN APPROACHES A TUNNEL AND BATMAN SAVES THE TEENAGER, TAKING HIM AND HIS FRIEND TO THE STREET
- Batman: You play chicken long enough, you fry.
ATTACK OF THE LEPRECHAUNS
A SMALL KID ON A GREEN HOOD TAKES THE PURSE FROM A LADY ON THE STREET
- Matron: My purse! Help! A thief! (A few moments later, she reports the stealing to a police officer) I'm telling you, it was a leprechaun!
- Officer #1: Really, ma'am. You expect me to believe you saw a little green man?
BATMAN RUNS PASS THEM AND THE LADY FAINTS, WHILE BATMAN WALKS OVER THE CARS IN THE STREET
- Driver: Hey!
A POLICE OFFICER ALMOST CRASHES AGAINST BATMAN. THEY STOP THE CAR AND START LOOKING FOR EVIDENCE
- Officer #2: Leprechauns and Batman! What's Gotham coming to?
- Batman: (Watching the scene from a rooftop) Leprechauns?
- Bruce: Leprechauns, Alfred!
- Alfred: Pardon? (Bruce turns off Alfred's radio) Not in the mood for Brahms, are we?
- Bruce: You think I'm crazy, don't you?
- Alfred: In what sense, Master Bruce?
- Bruce: Seriously. You don't believe I saw a leprechaun.
- Alfred: Hmhehe. Did he have a pot of gold? (Bruce turns his back on him) So..s.. I belive you saw something.
- Bruce: Maybe I need a rest.
- Alfred: I do believe a break from Wayne Enterprises and crime fighting would do wonders. Perhaps a vacation? Golf?
- Bruce: Sounds boring.
- Alfred: In the Bahamas?
- Bruce: Hot and boring. No, Alfred. I think this is a job for Batman.
- Alfred: You have a fine flair for dramatics, sir.
- Bruce: Why, thank you, Alfred.
BRUCE STARTS WORKING ON THE BATCOMPUTER
- Alfred: A thi....(unintelligible)
- Bruce: Yes. I think it's time for an encore.
A GROUP OF STREET URCHINS WORK DOING DIFFERENT CHORES DEEP UNDERGROUND THE SEWERS OF GOTHAM WHEN THEY ARE SUMMONED BY THE TOLLING OF A BELL TO THE PRESENCE OF A MAN SITTING IN WHAT SEEMS LIKE A THRONE
- The Sewer King: Hurry up! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Are you ready for your lessons? Yes? I think so. I think so. Well, so am I; your teacher, your leader, your king! Ready I am! Yes. -- Lesson number one is: NO TALKING! Children are to be seen and not heard. We are the Underdwellers. We are the silent ones. We follow the invisible creed. But...but, but, but, but, but! Someone was talking...(poins to one of the kids) You! You, you, you, you, you were heard! And we all know the punishment for talking, don't we boys and girls? (Takes the kid away from the rest) I think he needs to see the light! Yees! I do! A few hours in the light will make Jack a bright boy! (Locks the kid inside a chamber with artificial lights) And now, listen to...ALL OF YOU, UP TO THE STREETS! Bring back pretties. Lots and lots of pretties for your king. NOW! HAHAHAHAHA
THE KIDS GO OUT TO THE STREETS AND BATMAN STARTS INVESTIGATING THE PLACE WHERE HE SAW A LEPRECHAUN
- Batman: (Using infrared googles, he finds a secret entrance on the wall) I thought so! (Batman gets inside the tunnels of the subway and finds a closed door) Deadbolt. (Opens the door and finds a kid with a green hood) Just a second, son. I'm not gonna hurt you. (The kid backs down) Wait! (He falls to the subway tracks; Batman saves the kid and takes him to the Batmobile) Open (The car returns to his normal state)
ALFRED TAKES CARE OF THE KID
BATMAN ARRIVES AT THE BATCAVE WITH THE KID HE SAVED
- Batman: Good evening, Alfred.
- Alfred: Sir! (Notices the sleeping kid) Might this one be a leprechaun?
- Batman: This, Alfred, is our guest. I'd like you to take care of him.
- Alfred: Me? B-but I know nothing of children!
- Batman: You'll do fine. Feed him, clean him and put him to bed.
- Alfred: Well, perhaps. Not in that order.
THE NEXT MORNING ALFRED TRIES TO WAKE UP THE KID
- Alfred: Rise and shine, Master Leprechaun. Time to be up and about. (Alfred takes the bed sheets and forces the kid to wake up) First, a bath! Don't you think? -- Do you have a name? (The kid nods) I hope you don't expect me to guess it! Fritz? Pete? Leon? How about a little help? Can you talk? (Alfred tries to stop the kid from running away) Uff...gotcha! Hahahaha You'll feel much better when you're clean! And smell better too, I trust.
THE SEARCH FOR FROG AND BATMAN'S DISCOVERY
THE SEWER KING IS EATING A FEAST WHILE THE KIDS WATCH HIM
- The Sewer King: Frog? The rolls if you please. (A kid hands him the food) You're not Frog. Where is he? He's not here! Not here! And after all I've done for you, ungrateful little monsters! I took you in when nobody else would have you! It is I who care for you! I who provide for you! And only I WHO KNOWS WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU! Would you rather I send you back into the light? Back to those who hurt you, and sent you away? THERE WILL BE NOTHING TO EAT UNTIL FROG IS FOUND! NOW OUT WITH YOU! OUT WITH YOU!
AT WAYNE MANOR, ALFRED PREPARES BREAKFAST FOR FROG
- Alfred: (Frog tries to eat with his hands) No, no. Let's start with some table manners! Knife, fork, spoon. (Alfred leaves them on the table and Frog takes them away) Oh dear! I could've sworn I...uh, no matter. As they say, "dig in!" (After Frog finishes, Alfred prepares to wash the dishes) I wash, you dry. Now then, doesn't it feel good to be doing honest work? (Alfred passes the cutlery to Frog, who runs away with it) What? Wait! Charming... (Alfred searches for Frog through the entire house) Now, see here. We're supposed to be working...
- Batman: (Watching from the batcave) hehe...I wonder if I was that much trouble.
FROG ENTERS THE ARMORY AND TAKES A GUN
- Alfred: Oh dear! That is extremely dangerous! You must put it down before you hurt someone.
- Batman: (Takes the gun from Frog) Children and guns do not mix! Ever! It wasn't loaded. But it could've been. I need your help.
FROG TAKES BATMAN TO THE SEWERS, WHERE HE FINDS ALL THE KIDS
- Batman: Evidence...(Starts taking pictures of the children and then talks to Frog) Where is he? (Frog takes Batman to the main chamber and he destroys the summoning bell, after the childrens gather in the place) I don't know what kind of barbarian did this to you, but it's over. And from now on, you'll be treated like human beings.
- The Sewer King: I think we'll have something to say about that! Yes, we will.
THE FINAL CONFRONTATION
- The Sewer King: (Unleashes his pet alligators) Welcome our guest. (Batman stops two of them) Crush him! Destroy that costumed freak! (Unleashes two more and Batman defeats them as well) AAAAHHH! I'll show you who's the ruler of this kingdom! (Takes one of the kids)
- Batman: Put him down! NOW!
- The Sewer King: It's feeding time for my pretties!
FROG RESCUES HIS FRIEND AND BATMAN CHASES THE SEWER KING ACROSS THE SEWERS UNTIL HE FALLS IN A PIPE TRAP
- Batman: (Hanging over a pit of alligators) Great...and I thought you were in danger.
- The Sewer King: Bravo. Bravo! You've caused me great distress, you evil Bat. Yes yes yes, you have. You've hurt my pretty pets! And you frighten my beloved children.
- Batman: Beloved children?!?
- The Sewer King: Yes! I feed them, I clothe them, I discipline them and I teach them a trait! And now, I'll teach you something! (Stomps Batman's hand and Batman kicks him off the pipe)
- Batman: Grab my hand!
- The Sewer King: NEVER!!! (falls down to the pit of alligators)
- Batman: A gruesome fate for a gruesome man.
- The Sewer King: I rather enjoyed it. I told you, they're my pretties! Hahaha...nice swim!
- Batman: (Jumps over the pit and lands on solid ground) Later.
BATMAN FOLLOWS THE SEWER KING AND CAPTURES HIM
- The Sewer King: What!? You!? -- Why? Why! WHY!?
- Batman: I don't pass sentence! That's for the courts! But this time. . . This time I am sorely tempted to do the job myself!
BATMAN DELIVERS THE VILLAIN TO THE AUTHORITIES AND THE KIDS ARE TAKEN TO THE SURFACCE BY THE POLICE
- Frog: The light...the light!